When you make a decision to go for your dream, and try again, you meet resistance in the form of obstacles, past wreckage, and minutia. You’ll also have people in your life get in your way. They liked you better when you were safe and stagnant.

Anticipate this resistance. Prepare for it. Make it familiar. An old mentor of mine used to say: “Ray, we’re going to be rich…as soon as we fix that old Volkswagen out back.” Most of the time your activated dream lives in a new space. Your real neighborhood doesn’t even look vaguely familiar to where you’re going when you “fix that old Volkswagen out back.”

Networkers are easily blindsided and knocked off balance by that broken old Volkswagen. The reality of the ‘urgent’ fights for their attention and often wins, pressing the hold button on the beautiful life they’ve envisioned (dreamed up).

How do you stay on track for your dream?

1.) Create your own virtual reality. Make your dream the center, and life’s demands (minutia) the interruption.

2. Get comfortable with chaos. Give up control. Focus on one thing: building your business and the life you want. To get the baby out of the burning building you need single minded focus. You ignore falling timbers, fire, smoke, fear.

3. Show up for events–all of them. Don’t make thinking mistakes: “I’ve got this in my head, I’m really excited.” It’s not about your head. You didn’t think your way into being a dreamer. You felt it. Respect that it’s a feeling thing, not a thinking thing. You’ll need to eat while you’re building your dream. Your food is belief–emotions elevated.

Stephen Covey said that the really important things in your life always seem to be at the mercy of the urgent things. He said many people are climbing the ladder to success and they don’t realize that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

You have a chance here to design a life of money, time freedom, and personal significance.

Learn to focus.

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If you want to be alert and purposeful on the phone it’s a good idea to have a
reminder checklist by your phone. These questions and tips are easy to forget
once you’re on a call. What else can you think of? Leave a comment and let us
know your challenges or tips for working the phone.


1. What is the goal (desired result) of my call?

2. What is the most important thing in life to the person I’m talking to?

3. What is the event (meeting, conference call etc) I am inviting them to on this call?

4. Am I smiling enough? (Yes, they can hear you smile on the phone).

5. Am I saying their name enough? (The most important sound to a person is their own name).

Here’s a few more tips for your phone calls:

1. People have different communication preferences so always confirm their information.
Ask the best time and number for them (always get their cell number).

2.) People check email differently–hourly, weekly, monthly, never.  Maybe they prefer text.
Ask, “How often do you check your email?”

3.) Leave them with a picture (theirs). “So, _________, when you own your own life (you have
time and money freedom) what does that look like for your family? What does a typical day
look like three years from now when you are financially free and successful?”


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So you fall on your face and you want to quit, but you stick.  You get that part of your journey is falling on your face, over and over again.  You are making it through the first filter–stickability.  You naturally get better at your own pace.  You are constantly exposed to aspirational communication, hearing great
speakers, dream talk and penetrating change-your-life programming.  You
are getting it.  You are changing.  You are developing skills.  By emulation and
duplication you are becoming a professional networker.  The big money is becoming
a certainty for you.


Sponsor:  There’s an important business training this weekend and I want to make sure you’re coming.
Distributor: Okay, where is it?
Sponsor:  It’s in ______ (city).
Distributor:  Oh, I don’t know, that’s a 3 hour drive!
Sponsor: Nah, don’t think of it as a 3 hour drive, think of it as 3 Training CD’s away.

iStock_000019234534SmallI hung up the phone and thought, “I have to go to that meeting.”  A half hour later I was overwhelmed with my reality about making that meeting. One, it was in Dallas, Texas, and I was in New York. Two, I was broke and had a little over $300 to my name. Three, I did not own a suit. Four, I didn’t know a soul that was going. But I was fired up. The guy on the phone told me I could make money and change my life, and he thought that I would be great at the business.

I got a second-hand suit from a 6’3″ guy. I’m 5′ 11″. It looked so ridiculous that I can remember my embarrassment today (not so much back then). I tucked the sleeves in and the suit was way too long; it hung right off of me. It was light beige (not the best color for a pudgy guy with short legs). Funny thing is I’d feel the material and think “Huh, so this is what a nice suit feels like.”

I borrowed another $100 from my mom and bought a Greyhound bus ticket to Dallas. I booked a reservation at a motel for $56 a night. I had no plan (or budget) for transportation. I just figured I would take the bus. I questioned my sanity several times on that bus ride. I started thinking about how my suit didn’t fit. I was going to look ridiculous.

I was feeling lonely, tired, and hungry by the time I got to Texas. I checked into the motel in a rush, dropped my bag, and headed to the meeting. This was the meeting before the meeting. I walked in feeling self-conscious, thinking that I had made a huge mistake. These people looked like real business people. I was in over my head. The guy who I spoke to on the phone came over to me asked my name and introduced himself. We ate some appetizers, talked a little and about an hour later he closed the meeting. Then he turned to me and said, “Ray, It says a lot about you that you came down all the way from New York. What are you doing for the rest of the day?” I didn’t answer because I didn’t want him to know I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t want him to know where I was staying. He said, “I have to stop home for a minute. Then I can drop you at your hotel, come on let’s go.”

He took me to his house. Wow! He had waterfalls and rock caves in his backyard pool. He introduced me to his wife and kids. We had a delicious dinner. I asked him all kinds of questions about how he made his money. He didn’t come from money; he was self-made. He taught me a lot in that conversation. I was glad I made the decision to come to the meeting.

I never did anything with that business. I fell on my face. But I learned an important life lesson by making that trip. I learned that if you are the kind of person that is willing to do “whatever it takes,” people will respect you before you’ve achieved any measure of success. Your “whatever it takes” attitude by itself is recognized by successful people as a “marker” that you will be successful.


I never felt like he was in it for the money. I never felt manipulated, used, or taken advantage of. I also never thought anyone could be that patient and understanding. I needed so much work before I could be even be the slightest bit useful or productive in business or life. I needed building up. I needed help with self-esteem, fear of failure, fear of success, co-dependence, various addictions, panic attacks, lack of motivation, and depression. Ask yourself: Would you sponsor, no less work, with someone like that? Someone who had a heaviness about them that actually scared people? Someone whose eyes and demeanor mumbled “stay away”, I’m in pain and I’m angry? How would you mentor somone like that? How would you stay positive and not let them drag you down? Would you want that person in your life? Would it be worth it?

His methods were unusual by business standards. His plan of action broke and changed me. He loved me unconditionally. When I messed up, which was all the time, he never condemned me. In fact, he wanted me to “get” the idea that there wasn’t anything I could do that would make him think less of me, and that he would always be there for me, no matter what. He taught me how to smile. He taught me how to think. He taught me how to dream. He taught me to believe in myself. I have meetings (mentoring sessions) with him daily. He welcomes me with a hug several times a day. He always has time for me. He wants to know how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking. Every word he speaks is wisdom to my ears. He’s my rock, my salvation, my Savior.


Quit or Fight? How many thousands of times a day do we have to answer these 2 life-changing questions? We answer with our actions. Actions change thoughts faster than thoughts change actions. Things Like:
Wow, what a rush, I just talked to that lady about the business.
I just booked my flight to the convention.
I just asked that person if I could pray for them.

When you get out of your head and take action (in our case opening our
mouths about our product and business), you shout more belief to yourself
than a hundred motivation seminars. You move from theory to action,
from weakness to power. Quit or Fight? Start answering this question in
your business with action (talk to people). Action is the knock-out punch
that puts fear of failure and fear of success down on the mat, with you
standing over the top with arms raised high in victory.